Dating someone with hiv gay

Our testing page can help you figure out how often you should be getting tested. We know today that the best thing you can do for your health if you do have HIV is to diagnose it as early as possible, so you can get connected to care fast and make decisions about treatment.

About Undetectable

If you have condomless sex, even occasionally, talk to your doctor or HIV test counselor about whether PrEP is a good option for you. PrEP works best when other strategies, like undetectable viral load or condoms, are in the mix. Talk about HIV status, sexual health, and strategies with your sex partners.

HIV status can change.

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Talking about your status is better than guessing or making assumptions. You might choose to also use condoms , or decide whether to top or bottom , as ways of lowering the chances of HIV. Some guys entering a relationships will go get tested together before making a decision about condoms or making a relationship agreement. These feelings may, for example, lead somebody to stop using condoms before being certain of HIV status.

I Risked It All And Fell In Love With Someone Who's HIV Positive

However, some couples or sex partners may choose to go get tested together to be sure that they are HIV-negative before choosing not to use condoms with each other. Check out our section on testing to learn more about this.


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Want help remembering to take your meds or to get tested? Sign up for free text message reminders. Why might guys not know that they have HIV? There are lots of possible reasons. They may assume they do not have HIV, because their most recent test came up negative. People who have recently acquired HIV may experience no symptoms, or may not recognize the symptoms they experience as HIV infection.

It is common for guys to underestimate their risk for HIV infection. If you are an HIV-negative guy who only has sex with other guys who believe that they are HIV-negative, there are a few things you might want to think about: Is PrEP right for you?

How to Date an HIV-Positive Guy

I was 21 when I tested positive. I was not confident in sex, and had only started exploring my newfound kinks. Suddenly I was branded with something I was deeply afraid of, something I had been afraid of for years.


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  • I assumed everyone else would be equally afraid of it. I assumed everyone would be afraid of me. Today, my sex life is better than it ever was before my diagnosis. I use it as a litmus test to weed out unwanted partners: The standard practice in the United States is to get HIV positive people on medication as soon as possible.

    If you have a question, don't be afraid to ask it.

    The sooner you start meds and take them diligently meaning every day , the sooner you will become undetectable. Until you are undetectable, you are infectious, which means you are able to transmit the virus. As long as your sex partners know your HIV status and consent to have sex with you, you can have sex. How you disclose this information is up to you. I tell interested people immediately. And discuss with every partner what safer sex practices you want to use.


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    • I no longer feel this way. A sexually responsible, socially cognizant adult should do that self-education on their own time, particularly if they are part of a community that is at high-risk for HIV men who have sex with men, particularly men of color, and transgender women. But do they get to have sex with me? This weeds out poz-phobic or simply poz-ignorant people faster.

      Telling a partner you have HIV

      The people who pass this test and embrace my status have ended up being better fuck buds, better hookups, and better relationships than any I had before. Compare that number to people who have been recently diagnosed and are not yet taking medication — their tests can show millions of copies of HIV in one millimeter of blood.

      When you are undetectable, the virus is unable to trigger antibody tests, which are the tests used to tell if someone has HIV. This is the healthiest you can be without being HIV negative. When you are undetectable, you are unable to transmit the virus. Let me say that again: You can stay undetectable as long as you keep taking your daily medication. No, there is no cure for HIV, at least not right now.

      Of course.

      As long as they are aware of your HIV status and unafraid of it, you can date anyone you want to date — assuming they want to date you, too. I know countless long-term, happy serodiscordant couples. Today, there are more and better ways to treat and prevent HIV than there were even twenty years ago, so serosorting is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.