The members in these online dating communities may come from different gay scenes but they all have one thing in common. Whether it's Grindr or OKCupid , each guy is asked to market themselves with an online profile. If you've ever been on a gay online dating site, you know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of guys all looking to connect. Online dating is all about marketing. And the most successful guys are those that know their market and the product they're presenting—themselves.
Imagine if your favorite cereal came in a white box with no graphics or explanation of what was inside. No matter how good or bad it tasted, you probably wouldn't buy it. The same holds true for online profiles. No matter what the reputation of the site, profiles serve as a first impression and allow other men to build a story about who you are as a person am I'm not just talking about the physical.
How you present yourself on the shelf can make all the difference between snagging your dream lover or enjoying 15 minutes of fame. Here's how you can turn around your online dating luck. Marketing yourself online isn't just about you, but who you want to attract. Majority of men on the net browse around aimlessly, not knowing what they are looking for; waiting for an ambiguous Mr.
Right to message them. Of course, we're all seeking a good man, but what kind of man? The idea of "hot" is always in the eye of the mouse clicker. Is your ideal guy short, of average build with a love for theatre or is he a nature buff of medium height and slim frame?
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Even if you can visualize your ideal mate in your head, it's a good idea to draw him on paper. Make a list of his qualities and don't limit yourself to physical attributes- personality traits and details about his lifestyle is he out, closeted, curious are very important. You can be very specific "My guy is 28 years old" or you can use ranges "My guy is between 28 and 34 years old". This may seem like an exercise in vain, especially when you could be using those valuable minutes browsing through profiles, but knowing exactly what you want gives you focus and sends a positive message of who you'd like to attract.
Have you ever wondered how some of these online guys come up with their screen names? I'm always baffled by the funny spellings and the creative phrases they use, especially while I'm staring at my monitor trying to come up with an eight letter word that will live with me the entire time I'm on the site.
Rest assured, you don't need to come up with an award-winning screen name to attract attention.
Often times I use a favorite song title or a word from my favorite movie- something that will spark interest or prompt other hopeless romantics to look at my profile. Screen names are like billboard headlines, which invite others to at least check out the product.
Online, I've found that the more abstract the screen name, the more guys will message me and ask questions, which ultimately leads to a conversation- the best way to assess a match. Keep in mind, screen names can also be a deterrent. So think about the image you want to present.
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A name like "lookn4luv" is more likely to attract the romantic types than "easystevie". Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover. They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away. A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. But there is a difference between being curious about the guy and turning it into an interview.
One way to avoid falling into this trap is to come up with 2 or 3 questions in advance. You can also use these questions as topical jumping points. Examples include asking him where he is from, inquiring about his hobbies or asking him what his favorite movie might be.
Keep it light and fun. Yes — sexual compatibility is important however, if the focus of the first date is centered on bedroom related topics, you run the risk of confusing why you are meeting him in the first place. How many times have you wondered: There will be time enough to determine those things down the road … like your second or third date. For now, focus on who the guy is as a person and how you feel around him.
Which leads us yet to another tip. It simple speak, in means not feeling like you need to impress the pants off him by taking him to an expensive restaurant or putting on airs.
Too many of us think we need to fit a certain image in order to be liked. But if you ask most gay men what they are looking for in a mate, a majority will likely tell you they want to connect with a man who is A comfortable with who he is and B holds himself with confidence. When you try to impress someone too hard, you run the risk of coming off as fake. Make sense? Yep — just one. Here is why. When you drink too much on a first date, you may send the unintentional message that you need alcohol in order to enjoy yourself. Worse, you may come off as sloppy.
Shy Guys have more sex.
Is that what you really want? A great way to avoid booze on a first date is to simply not be around it. For example, instead of going restaurant where alcohol is served, why not go for ice cream or coffee? What about someplace fun like a zoo or a walk in the park? The main point here is to be mindful of alcohol use. Michael Martin. David Toussaint. Cameron Gantt. Jaye Sassieni. Adam Clark and Tony Dines. Lewis Campbell. Related Topics: Price Updated: